Every now and then, I need a little motivation to get myself in front of the computer and update the old blog. Sometimes, it’s a particularly delicious meal that provides the necessary push. Sometimes, it’s that doggone Frederick News Post that gets me going.
Oh, why oh why do I continually let the FNP push my buttons? Why can’t I just take a deep cleansing breath, let it all go and get back to my happy place? I’ll tell you why.
3 years ago, when I turned 50 (ouch), I embarked on a mission. I decided that henceforth, I would abandon my judgmental ways, and embrace the philosophy of “erring on the side of kindness”. Given that I was innately biased toward “erring on the side of sarcasm”, this was a pretty monumental undertaking.
For (what seemed like) months, I actually paused and gave some consideration to what I was about to say before actually saying it. I offered to help others without being asked, and did so non-begrudgingly.
What a positive move, a righteous path of personal growth, spiritual awareness and all that other new-agey stuff the yoga people seem to like so much. A new me. A better me. Enlightened and enriched.
2 very bad things happened.
The first, and really quite irritating phenomenon, was that NOBODY NOTICED! When my so-called friends were asked how they were enjoying the new, “kindness erring” me, they were nonplussed. Really??? How was that possible? How could they not have noticed how I purposely did NOT simulate the gag reflex when they suggested eating at Olive Garden? How did they miss my NOT rolling my eyes when they ordered their steak well done? Seriously folks, I was erring like crazy!!!!
Oh, and the second bad thing that happened? Well, all those times that I was kindness-erring when my natural instinct was to judge, caused my body to rebel. All the bottled up hostility and sarcasm had nowhere to go, so it just kind of coalesced into one giant tumor in my neck which the expert doctors at Hopkins had to remove.
So, in the interest of saving my life, I have had to abandon the whole kindness boat and re-embrace my natural philosophical style of judge and opine. Which is why I just CANNOT take that flippin’ deep breath and get back to my happy place when the FNP annoys me.
And why am I annoyed today? Well, obviously it’s got to be something food related. And naturally, it’s once again the infamous FNP “unannounced dining experience ” article . Today, writer Bill Cauley (whom I thought was a sports reporter), wrote all about his recent lunch trip to El Sloppy Taco in Brunswick.
As it turns out, there wasn’t that much to tell. For, you see, Bill shares with us that he’s “ not a big lunch eater”. Great. So why exactly did he go to the restaurant for lunch? Trooper that he is, he ordered anyway. ONE taco. ONE! Not a taco combo platter, not a taco plus some side dishes. Nope. Just one single taco. Didn’t even add much of the hot sauces because, at least for Bill, “hot, spicy stuff tends to revisit a person at inopportune times”. Wow. Good to know. .
Lucky for us, his dining companion was there to fill in the gastronomic gap. Psyche. Dining companion wasn’t hungry and only ordered chips & salsa!
Wow. One taco and some salsa . Oh, the information overload! Stop! I can’t absorb any more!
Bill – why bother writing this at all??? And, Frederick News Post – why bother printing it? How does this even remotely serve the reader? I see how it might serve your advertisers – but it’s not going to do them a lot of good without readers.
Anyway – I feel much better now. I am taking nice big, deep breaths and getting back to my happy place.